Home Again

Hello all...

It's been a while. Mainly because the family and I have been traveling across the country for our baby girl's christening. Time with family means many things to me. It means that I get to catch up, hug, love, and cherish those that are close to us...But on the flip side of things, it also means MAJOR stress for me and the family.

It has been about six and a half years now that we have lived away from our collective family. And for most of those years we would travel the great distances to go "home." But, in light of all of the travel and stress that goes along with traffic or airport hoopla, comes the stress of the family. It becomes a no win situation, where one family always feels slighted due to the time spent with the other. ::rolling my eyes::

I am actually rather glad that last year we were unable to travel at Christmas due to me being ordered on bed rest while I was pregnant with our youngest. For the first time in...Gosh...12 years since I've known and been with Hubby, we had our OWN Christmas, Our OWN traditions and rules. No other family telling us where we had to be when. Let me give you the typical Christmas day when we would travel home a few years back. Wait...back up...We'll start with Christmas eve.

Christmas Eve...We'd get ready and dressed by around 5 or 6ish. Get something to eat (either at home at my parents house or out to dinner with his parents), then we would head off to church (his parents church) by around 7:30/8:00ish, we would sing in the choir there, so had to be there before church actually began. Church would start at 9:00 and sometime about an hour or two later, would finish. We would then hop in the car and go out to his Aunt's house for "Christmas" with her and her family. Then we would quickly rush everyone through their presents and food so by 11ish we would be heading out the door, giving our best wishes along the way, to head off to My parents church or should I say "Church the second!" Church there would end sometime after mid-night or close to and we would all go home to My parents house and go off to bed (being sure to help Santa put all the presents under the tree before retiring to our rooms).

Christmas day we would wake up and open gifts at my parents house. My aunt and Uncle would come over at around 9 to give us their gifts and have breakfast. Then hubby and I would quickly have to get dressed and ready for a 2 hour drive north to HIS families' houses. His parents would drop by and pick us up at around 10. The first stop on the Northern tour is always his father's parents. Not extremely well liked by the maternal side of the family, so this stop was always kept to under and hour! we would give our well wishes there, then off to the Aunt's house...which one depended on who wanted to host! There we would spend HOURS smooching all of the relatives we never see. Each one giving us a gift, each one probably expecting a thank you card (sorry...I don't believe in giving thank you cards if I opened the gift in your presence and I said thank you verbally to your face...just me! I guess I'm tacky like that!) So for those hours that we were there, at least one fight between 2 or more family members would break out, at least one person would get drunk to the point of crying, there would always be catty talk behind other family members backs going on in the kitchen, and of course...TONS OF FOOD! All together ending in the most un-enjoyable, uncomfortable, stressed out holidays ever!

I love my family...This includes Hubby's family too. But wow...going through that year after year has made me quite tired and quite sick of all of the drama. I am sure that I do not help with the mere fact that I have become more outspoken as I become older. However, I don't know how fair it is to treat us the way we are treated when we come "home," especially given the circumstances and how hard it is for us to even MAKE it "home."

So even though it was not Christmas, the family celebration that we held felt like it was just that...un-enjoyable, uncomfortable, and stressed. Not all of it was this way, the actual celebration was wonderful and in my own mind I ignored all family members in attendance. Or at least I tried until I got a strict talking to by my hubby about how you have to "acknowledge" an Italian family as soon as they walk through the door...visions of the Godfather went flowing through my head...actually, about every mob movie I've ever seen went flowing through my head! So, I got up...went over...and said hello to everyone...
Honestly didn't think this part of things was that big of a deal...we WERE in church, and it was getting pretty close to the start of the ceremony! Smooching every aunt was truly Not my priority at that moment!

The whole point of the dinner afterwards was for the smooching! hehehe.

The Dinner...now THAT was stressful! The restaurant couldn't accommodate us...I allowed our mothers to set this up...yeah...I should have seen the warning signs on this!

We had reservations at this little Italian bistro for 35 people. They said..."Sure...we can do that in our front dining room, we'll push tables together, and you'll just order from the menu" Ok..Note the fact that I said "LITTLE"...

Hubby and I were the last to arrive because we were the only ones that would allow his paternal grandparents to follow us (See comment above regarding the love between maternal family and paternal family!) We arrive to find that most of the tables were not set, and there was no more room at the inn. Who then gets slighted??? No, not his family...MINE... My aunt and her entire family (which includes 4 little girls and 4 adults) stormed out of the restaurant because there was no room (Note...They were the first in our party to arrive!!!). So my mother and I remained very upset for the rest of the night. At the beginning of the Dinner, hubby and I weren't even seated together because NO ONE bothered to save us a seat. Momma in law and the brood started to drink, as my family remained under the radar as I unraveled the wrath that is me!
The owner of the establishment promised us the back room if we could wait just 15 more minutes...OK...fine...15 goes by...our waitress comes out to me to say..."it's going to be another half hour to 45 minutes!" By this time, half of MY family had left, and his family had already opened the wine...so why move! I proclaimed, "We had a reservation...you said you could accommodate, you did not accommodate, YOU HAVE TO ACCOMMODATE!!!! We are here, we didn't make plans for us to go anywhere else, so you need to work your butts off to make this work!"

Now business minded people...why would you slate a group of 35? especially since the average meal cost us $14, and most, I'm sure, were more like $20-25!!! Instead they were trying to accommodate other customers who might have two people in their party that probably only brought them about $30 in business! It's simple economics, you cater to the bigger business...you make sure they are happy and well supplied for, because in the end, you'll get more business!

We finally got settled, as insufficient as the accommodations were, and we ate dinner. Because of my pure rage, I stayed away from most people. I didn't (and couldn't due to the set up) talk to my family, so they left in a bit of a huff, his family ruled the night, and that was that. They had a good time, I think, (honestly, not that I care!) By the end of that night, I was so stressed about the response I would get from my family, that I could care less about anything else that was going on.

The food was decent, and if it were just hubby and I, I probably would eat there again...but I would NEVER trust them with a party!

Going "home" to see our family is always great...

But...

It is GREAT to be back HOME.