Last night I found a blog that I wrote in a diary 1 year ago. It was funny how profound it truly was.
In 2001 when the Twin Towers fell and the Pentagon lay in shambles, I was pregnant with our first child. I remember that day and how incredibly scared I was. What kind of world was I about to bring this little girl into, I wondered?
Last year on the fifth anniversary of September 11th, ironically once again I was pregnant and wondering how I was going to handle my children in this world. Within those five years, my husband joined the military. A lot has changed in this world, and in our own lives.
On this six year anniversary, we are once again looking forward, and at the same time looking at our past. Realizing that within the year he will be deployed, realizing that this frenzied life in the military that we have come to embrace will become harder than it has ever been. The idea that no one truly knows how this war will end, when or if it will ever end.
Six years later...there is still a paralyzing fear wafting over us like the dust settling after the Towers fell.
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I was thinking about this a lot today too. To think that I originally dealt with this as the wife of a law enforcement officer, then ended up with a man in the military. Obviously Husband 2.0 is quite the upgrade ;-) but it affects me much more now, today, than it did so many years ago. In 2001, I found myself leaving a message saying that I understood nobody would be leaving work anytime soon. Now work is the leaving of home. Quite the change.
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