Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
It's a funny thing when a major issue consumes your life. It sends you hurling into the atmosphere at mock 3 and then of course somewhere in the event of flying towards the moon gravity pulls you back to earth faster than a speeding bullet.
I'm on this roller coaster ride that is being laid out before me. I'm not in control, and will never be in control of this situation. The situation doesn't lie with me...
All I can do for now is strap in, hold on and pray that the next drop has a safe landing at the bottom of it. The initial drop...you know the largest one...yeah, that's already occurred. I made it through...
Right now I seem to be on that second accent into the atmosphere. The one that isn't as high and not as scary, but still fills you with nervous enthusiasm upon hearing the cranking sound of the gears beneath you pulling you higher.
All I can do for now is maintain life. Keeping my arms and legs inside the car at all times and hope to be able to get off this ride soon.
As for everything else that I have tried to get started. Things are going to be at a stand still for a while. I don't care right now about coupons, or meal planning, or scrap booking, or anything other than the absolute Must-Haves of the day. Most of which mean I have to retain order in this house, which has never truly happened. The disorganized caeous that is my life is going to hopefully somehow become more organized. Taking into advice columns and blogs I've read lately on little tricks of the trade on keeping house. It's not the keeping house that's so hard, it's keeping house in a house that has never truly been totally organized...yeah...that's the tricky part. I never have had the time to lay out organization. My time and efforts go elsewhere, mainly to the family. But I think it's necessary. So today starts a new chapter there. Maybe...I first have to tackle all the other situations of the day.
In any case, I won't be blogging as much...So if you miss me I'm sorry. I have to organize my life before I can give any other person in this world advice on how to be or how to live.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Well...Today is weigh in day. It's been an odd week for me.
Previous weight: 212
Today's weight: 212.5
gain of .5lbs.
I'm really not all to concerned about that .5. That is actually down from my Monday weigh in, which was back up to 215. So I'm ok with basically maintaining.
This past Friday Hubby and I started an exercising routine. This path is basically going to turn me into a runner before to long.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
I love the title! Ok, so that didn't EXACTLY occur yesterday during the parent/teacher conference. It more was along the lines of "Kill the Parent" Ummmm....no, that's not quite right..."Kill the over protective mom" Yeah, that's more like it!
Hubby and I walked into the classroom to not only Gabby's Teacher, but the principal of the school (hmmmmm....Backup?) I guess I gave the teach a "Walking through the door with a pitchfork in hand" image also!? (I dunno where all these people are getting this image from...I'm not THAT bad with people...muhahahahaha)
So we allowed teachy to talk. And talk and talk she did. She IS actually teaching...amazing to me considering all of the worksheets. But whatever...Gabby's doing fine in her eyes.
Then it was our turn to talk....(Man...Can't find the dang pitch fork!!! CRAP!)
So Hubby talked first and brought up the Bully thing. So the Teach tells us that the girl is a "jokester" and she'll "talk" to her. She is "thinking" about moving the kids around since some of them chat it up anyway. I brought up the idea that this girl and the girl sitting next to her got Gabby a time out...Teachy just smiled sheepishly and shrugged (Not an apology in my book...where'd I put that pitchfork again?!" )
Then I brought up the worksheets and the homework.
HAHAHA...yeah....Evidently in this school, I'm the ONLY parent who takes issue with our children doing so many worksheets. The two of them actually told us that on week number one of school a parent DEMANDED that the teacher start giving homework to the kids! WHAT???? Hello, only week one, and they are only in KINDERGARTEN!!! What stupid parent made THAT complaint!
So, the teacher admitted that they get a sheet when they walk into the classroom in the morning (no directions are given for these, cause they are just busy work!) She gives two sheets after reading to assess their skills (ok, I'll buy that!), She gives a sheet after math for that same reason (ok), and maybe a sheet after religion (k...) So if in all honesty they were the only sheets she gave, I wouldn't have a problem...that's still five sheets a day, equalling 20 per week, BUT...these sheets seem to be coming from her text books...so I'm ok with that.
BUT...then she went on to say that they also have to work on their own while she is dealing with one of the reading groups
(DING! Ok, here's the point...here is the busy work....They have reading 3 times a day...there are three reading groups. So therefore, two of those periods are spent with the remainder of the children, 2/3rds of the class, doing busy work!!!) PROBLEM WITH THAT...
Then I went on to the homework subject. My question to the teach was this..."When you plan out your week, do you automatically plan the homework too?" (trick, very loaded question...) Her answer was yes!
(*DING!!!! Ok, which means that she is not giving this homework based on the NEED to give the homework because the children NEED to work on these skills more. NOPE in our lovely principal's own words "Well, at this school we give homework at this age so they can practice having homework." WHAT???)
So in the end, none of my concerns were paid attention to, and my husband for some unknown reason agreed with them on every level (WTF over!) ::rolling my eyes::
So I'm gonna have to suck it up, and pretend to like this teach.
To top it all off, the conference gets over and the principle looks at me and says "So, are you still going to help out with the music classes? You are so greatly needed in there."
HA! Why, so I can teach the classes for you and not get paid! Nice.
Of course, why, Cause I'm a SUCKER!!!!
So here you go ladies...It doesn't matter how involved in your child's education you are. How much the school says they need you. If you have a problem with the teach, the school is ALWAYS going to side with the teach...even if what she is doing is just really wrong on so many levels.
I would love to honestly hear from some other parents on this subject. I CANNOT Possibly be the only person in this country who feels this way!
So to this subject I hope to say "Bon Voyage."
Unfortunately, something is telling me that I will be returning to this again in the future! OYE...May God help me through this year and hope for the best next school year!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Hubby returned early from his training, and for a lack of a better explanation he gave up, why? Because of all of the "issues" at home. He doesn't think I can handle things on my own. I've definitely figured that out this week. I mean, I WOULD be handling all of this stress on my own right now would he not have given up on the training and come home...SOooooo, why Can't I handle it?
Sure I definitely have had my moments of breakdown, but that doesn't mean that as a whole, that I cannot handle myself and this family. I've found that in the past week I've been greatly criticised for how I do things, the way I handle myself...etc..... All the while he's sitting there telling me how tense I am...YEAH...NO SH*T Sherlock! I'm being told that everything I'm doing is wrong...I'm not supposed to get tensed up?
It went from subject to subject this morning. From when I actually woke up, to what we were feeding Gabby for breakfast, to how to handle the teacher at the parent teacher conference. Evidently I'm giving off the vibe that I'm going to head into the classroom with pitchfork in hand ready to kill the beast! I dunno, something about me not being able to handle people...::snicker::
Sure I'm mad, but I'm not so naive as to think that I can go in with guns blazing and bite her head off (even though I'd like to!) But on the other hand, I'm not about to take this first year teach by the hand and guide her along the path...that's not my job! That's what she went to college for!
My hubby's point of view on that subject greatly differs from mine. Being a former teacher himself he sees this as her inability to bring anything else to the table of learning. I know for a fact that there are GOBS of books out there on how to create a more creative learning environment. The Internet is Full of ideas AND other teachers' lesson plans! COME ON! She can do better than worksheets! But, maybe he's right? Maybe this one is a loosing battle. I don't know how much she truly cares for these kids, and how much she sees this job as more than just a paycheck. She hasn't truly convinced me of anything positive about her.
I can truly say that for the first week since the beginning of the year Gabby has seemed to have brought home new skills. She's learned graphing and how to figure out syllables. I will also say that I have Definitely found that she has mine and my hubby's stubbornness. Something IS what SHE says it IS, even if we prove to her it's WRONG! lol... As in Minnie Mouse has three syllables...no Gabby, Minnie has two, and mouse has one...No...there's three! No, Gabby, they are two different words, you don't add them together...This argument went on for about 5 minutes in the car. UGH...
Another battle to be won in the classroom is the fact that we just found out this morning that Gabby has a bully. In Kindergarten? NO WAY! Yep...I guess they are training 'em young these days! I want the child kept away from mine...Hubby wants the teacher to decide what to do. Now Hubby and I both endured really hard childhoods where other kids were concerned. I grew up with barely any friends, and those that were my friends were there as a matter of convenience when THEY needed me! Hubby wore glasses, was awkward looking and well...the prime target to be picked on. So we both have experience in this sort of thing. I think My experience being with the Caddy girls are more closely related to what Gabby is dealing with, and so I am more apt to be able to figure out the best ways to handle these things. Number one rule, Walk away...Number two...Make the teacher aware that there IS a problem, and separate them in class. The only thing keeping them next to each other all year is going to do is bring both of their attention levels down as the one constantly interrupts the others learning. Gabby had a time out on Tuesday due to this child's talking-according to Gabby...she wasn't doing anything. So Hubby is right to a point. We aren't in the classroom and need to find out from Teach what is going on...BUT...she doesn't really "see" any problems. I hear of time outs, but I personally have taught this class in music and have seen that it's not working. This is definitely not the class from last year. The one that actually LISTENED! Something is wrong here. And I'm not sure what the answer is.
So in a few hours I will be walking into enemy territory. I hate to think of it this way, but from my understanding of other parents' dealings with her, she's not to apt to change her ways, she's on the defensive. And I'm on the prowl! hahaha...A mother Eagle tending her brood! Muahaha...yeah...
I don't want to have tensions between this teacher and I all year round, but it's hard not to when you say something to her and she doesn't even nod in acknowledgement. She just stairs through you, like she didn't hear a thing.
Which ever way this day goes, hopefully we'll be able to get past it. Even hubby has seen that Gabby's eyes sink heading into the classroom. Last year she LOVED school and couldn't wait to go every morning. And she was so excited to start off this year. But now, the glamour is gone, and she's lost her luster. Sad really...What one individual teacher can steal away from a child. And I guess I'm not blameless in all this. I've had the nasty habit of talking about the teach and the school in front of Gabby...I've tried not to, but she somehow walks into my conversations.
God willing her school year can be revived and she can become a happy little girl again...not that she's all THAT unhappy, but a mother can tell!
Thanks to all the well wishers the past few days. I've really needed the extra little words of encouragement.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
So I get her to school and we sat in the car for several minutes allowing her to wake up. As we sat there I asked her if everything was ok, and if anything was bothering her. Nothing was wrong, she was just tired. But then she remembered she had "tons of work to do" when she got to her class. I said "what kind of work?" "Well, we didn't finish some of our worksheets from yesterday, so I have to finish them this morning." I got rather miffed at this.
This has been an ongoing issue in our household. While that line, out of context, seems perfectly suited to her young educational life, it's becoming a huge problem! Her teacher is BRAND NEW, Hot off the presses. AND...well, let's just say she's got a lot of issues! Her teaching strategy thus far in the two months that we've had her...Death by worksheets.
I've never known a kindergartener to have finished SO many worksheets in such a short amount of time. By this morning she had already completed (and yes I actually counted) approximately 20 worksheets both in and out of school. IN TWO DAYS...she did 20 worksheets! To me that doesn't sound like the teacher is teaching. More like she wants to give all the kiddies busy work. And when they aren't doing worksheets they are having recess. Yep! My child has THREE recesses a day.
Class starts at 8:30am and finishes at around 2:30pm every day (they have 15 minutes before class in the morning to get ready to start the day, and 15 at the end to get ready to go home). So in 6 hours, they have 3 recesses, one of them has lunch attached to it. Then they have this thing called "Work factory" at the end of the day, which to me is an indoor recess. So they technically have 4!
So 4 recesses and 20 worksheets, doesn't seem like she's actually teaching them anything. I'm seriously not sure how she has time to! So luckily parent/teacher conferences are this Friday, and BOY-O is she gonna get an earfull!!!!
So I walked away from school fuming at that whole mess.
I get home and I just couldn't let it go. I then became depressed after talking it over with my mom because as she so wisely put things..."Well, if you take her out of that school, where are you going to put her?" I quickly said I was thinking about home schooling her...and of course to make matters worse mom's loving reply to that is..."How are you going to do that when you are looking after another child once or twice a week and babygirl, AND you have NO patience with Gabby!" ( Yeah...that just made me feel SO much better) So being defeated in my thoughts, I hung up and just became in a more miserable mood.
Then came another lovely phone call from the Broker. You see, we are trying to sell our house to our Renter...(the house we used to live in before the military!) Seems that now I may have to repair said house before we close...Not to mention that I haven't received rent for the last two months! What ever happened to selling something "As Is!" Ugh, whatever..."Moving on..."
And to top my day off, I dropped (ok, Babygirl knocked it off the counter) my favorite coffee mug, a present from my college for giving to their alumni fund. It broke into pieces.
Feeling like eating out and pigging out...so much for dieting! I need chocolate! Whhaaaaa....I want a plate of brownies! lol...
So much drama today...
God willing, tomorrow will be different.
Monday, October 15, 2007
- Tuesday:Leftovers (had alot in the fridge)
- Wednesday: Fish with pasta
- Thursday: BBQ Turkey tenderloins
- Friday: Ravioli
- Saturday: Chicken
- Sunday: Leftovers
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Hubby arrives tonight at 10:26!!!! Yes...he's coming home NOW! Gabby doesn't know! I'm not going to tell her either. I think I'll just play it off as "I need some Starbucks, so lets take a ride!" She misses him so much...I know she's gonna be SO excited!
She just walked in...I should go. It's not like she can read what I'm writing yet, but I should get back to work. I completely revamped my bedroom today, including our closet! EEK...I don't know if I should have taken on that task today, but I'm getting near to being done, now I just need to put away the laundry that is being cycled through.
Getting really tired, but CAN'T wait to see HUBBY! I miss him so!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
My previous weigh in was 215 lbs.
My current weight...212lbs
Total weight loss for the week-3 lbs!
Not bad for just completely falling off the wagon and really not trying!
Ok, so I haven't been trying, but I haven't TOTALLY been sabotaging myself either (well, until yesterday...Keebler cookies were on sale...Gabby HAD to have them! lol) Mainly I've been eating chili!
CHILI...I can hear the collective gasp now! Before Hubby left for his training we had a BBQ, we decided to make chili, and boy do we have leftovers! So since I'm the only one that is willing to eat it, I figured why let all that good food go to waste? It actually is a very high veggie recipe. It has a whole lot of tomatoes, and 4 different types of peppers. On top of all of that there are about 4 or 5 types of beans and of course your meats (which we used ground beef and churisso (spelling?) sausage). I'm assuming that I lost weight for one of two reasons. 1) I lost the pounds because of the way chili so lovingly flushes out my system... OR 2) My metabolism boosted itself because it got used to eating the same thing every day. This is sort of along the same lines as the Special K diet or to a lesser extent the slim fast diets.
In either case I'm just happy to know that I haven't gained any weight this week. I've been under and enormous amount of stress and have just put a load of responsibilities on my plate. So I guess even though I'm not able to get to the gym, I'm up and out of the house, so my body is still keeping itself busy?
Well, I hope to do better next week. I just need to get things organized here, and then hopefully I'll be able to start walking again.
Good job to all those who are working hard to loose weight! Keep up the good work!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
So how do we do it? How is it possible for us Military wives (ok being pc I should say "Spouses") to keep up appearances? I have actually done so well up to this point. And sure, most of you veterans are saying, "He's only been gone for 2 weeks!" True...but, it's been an on again off again situation since baby girl was born in April! He'll be here for about 3 weeks, and then he leaves for more training, or is sent out into the woods...if it's not one thing, it's another! It's tiring. And what's funnier about all of this. I'm still the one sitting here writing back to him cheering him on...how am I doing this?
He briefly mentioned deployment in his letter. I'm watching closely as friends of ours are coming back. Their wives are going stir crazy right now. They are quickly unravelling under these final stages. I'm helplessly watching from the sidelines, awaiting my turn I guess!
And then there's my neighbor. Oh gosh, I feel so horribly for her. I barely ever talk to her. We are neighborly when we see each other, and every once in a while our daughters will play together. I met her out at the mail box yesterday and got the shock, and the earful, of my life!
You see her husband returned on R & R yesterday. I was happy about that, and thought she was too, and then she explained her issues. Back in August she received an email from him declaring that he was no longer in love with her and wants nothing to do with her! Gosh! How horrible! But it gets worse...
She knows he's got a girl over there, she is also military and is also married. For all of you who don't know...this actually means both of them would get a court marshall. BUT...the Rear D can't find any substantial evidence of his affair! Ok, so the email to her isn't something? The myspace account that he denied his wife as being his friend on, with the other woman as his #1!!!! that's not evidence? The fact that he made a phone call to her yesterday from the Dallas airport asking her if she took off, and then getting irate about the fact that she took off the whole time he's home and hanging up on her just hours before they reunite...that's not evidence??? Based on his behavior I'm concerned for her safety. So I've already gave her an open door policy to my house. If he does something, she's to come here, no matter what time of the day!
I just don't know how I'm finding the strength to deal with not only my own issues, but others as well. I guess I'm just one of those strange creatures that somehow stays calm under pressure...then goes home and looses it after sun down.
Don't let the sun catch you crying...
Monday, October 8, 2007
I could have guessed walking into that atmosphere, that #1-I wouldn't really get to socialize with the host, who had never even met Baby girl until now, and #2-this sinking feeling in the back of my head was telling me this was not going to be a fun afternoon!
Gabby tried to go and interact with the birthday girl, someone she considers as a good friend. Yeah, this never happened...Birthday girl absolutely ignored Gabby's existence in the name of she's too young, and not as cool as us! Yeahhh...whatever!
Luckily for me, there was a friend near by who also attended and who also got completely ignored as I did! We were both outcasts from the start. Which made me wonder...Why were we even invited?
Birthday girl obviously did not want Gabby around, and Gabby did not have fun at all...She was caught in the middle between being too young to hang with the older kids, and being too old to hang with the toddlers who were also invited (who were there mainly because their older sibling was invited!) Every game made Gabby very unhappy. So much so that at one point during the party She disappeared!!!! COMPLETELY WENT OUT OF MY SITE!
Hostess took all kids outside to do a pinata...something didn't work right, or it started raining, so they all came back inside. But Gabby didn't! Gabby was being so ignored that she saw it fit to go entertain herself at a playground that was sort of attached to the community center. BUT...she never told anyone where she was, and it was too far away for us to be able to see her! Not to mention the fact that it was raining! So she got in trouble for disappearing, but I felt horrible for her. She was being shoved aside any time they did any games or anything. She was plain and simple not being included by the kids-hostess was doing her best.
Now as for the two adults in this story, me and my friend, well we had an excuse, we have two little ones, baby girl and T, and were not in the spirit of trying to lug these two precious little ones around to play "games" where the older kids were just plain being mean!
So we stayed put and talked amongst ourselves. I guess we alienated ourselves, but we were also being alienated by the other adults in the room. One woman kept giving us really nasty stairs...especially when her toddler tried to get in Baby girl's face, who at the time was sound asleep! I had to keep holding her back away from her, and not only was she just not being watched by her parents, but she was oozing some type of candied juice from her mouth that got all over baby girl's car seat...did I get an apology? NOPE....I got a death stair for touching her kid! WHAT?? Man...it makes you really think why some parents act the way that they do. Hostess is included in this mad parenting comment.
These older kids...including birthday girl were running wild...fine, it's a birthday party have fun, but have order too! She was allowing the girls to go into the boys bathroom, she was allowing them to poke each other with the cocktail umbrellas, they were putting gross things into each other's drinks to see if that person would drink it and not realize that there was something in it! eww... And then... the kicker...It was pouring rain out...we are at a community center that is used by...THE COMMUNITY! So there were two boys there who went to birthday girl's school. I have never seen such rude behavior allowed in children. These girls opened the doors and yelled at them to go home (pouring rain!) opened the doors, threw stuff at them, it was a constant ordeal that lasted for about an hour until the party was ending. Obnoxious little brats man! Oye...
The party was supposed to last until 4:30, we promptly left at the first sign that things were finishing up. The rain had finally died down, and the kids, they were continuing to be more and more obnoxious! I didn't want Gabby to be anymore terrorized than she had already been. And I just couldn't take the noise and the lack of parenting any more. I thanked the hostess, Gabby got a goody bag and we went on our way! THANK GOD! I have never been to a party where people have been so ignored. Oh yeah...Not to mention that I never got thanked for her gift which was not exactly cheap!!!!
In case any of you were wondering. I am kind of anti-kids party. I think people take them WAY too far sometimes. We attempted one for Gabby's 5th birthday this past year, and out of the 10 invites, only 2 kids showed...we had 2 other couples and their 4 month old baby's come too, but for Gabby, only two kids showed...the only one who stayed the whole time?...The birthday girl from yesterday. Wow...things change in 6 months, don't they!? I'd rather take Gabby out for a nice night on the town of her choosing (which most likely will be Chuck E Cheese) But at least she'll have all of our attention, which is the way it should be!
Monday: Turkey Meatballs w/buttered noodles and stuffing
Tuesday: Scambled eggs and toast
Wednesday: Chicken Nuggets and Mac n Cheese
Thursday: Hot Dogs and green beans
Friday: Homemade Pizza
Sunday: Leftovers or whatever we please :)
Pretty generic meals...I'm dealing with having to please a five year old!!!! So why try gourmet when I know she'll eat generic! Less stress on me! Not to mention, the bulk of this stuff is what we have in our house, so I didn't have to spend extra money at the grocery store this week.
Happy Columbus Day Everyone!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
First off, I made sure to make a list. Not only did I make a list, but it was detailed.
Secondly, I made sure that I searched high and low for coupons for EVERYTHING on my list. Well, unfortunately, I couldn’t find coupons for everything, but I did have them for the bulk of my list, which really did make a difference.
Lastly, I shop at the local commissary, so along with the coupons; I’m also not having to pay taxes!
Toilet paper, 12 pack: Price $5.99, minus coupon, I paid $4.99.
Dora Yoplait Yogurt: Price $1.95, minus coupon, I paid $1.40
Pop secret popcorn: Price $.90, I paid $.30
Pampers diapers: Price: $15.11, I paid $13.61
Pampers Wipes: Price 5.96, I paid $4.96
Deodorant: Price: $2.33, I paid $1.83
Shampoo: Price: $1.99, I paid $1.49
Conditioner: Price $1.99, I paid $1.49
Paper towels, 3 rolls: Paid $1.88 (no coupon, they didn’t have the kind for the coupon I did have)
Bisquick: Price $2.99 (no coupon-searched really hard for one too!)
Mac N Cheese, special 5 pack: Paid $2.50
Bread: Paid $1.09
Total bill came to: $44.68
Minus coupons -6.15
Plus surcharge +2.23
Total paid out today $40.76
Not too bad if you consider that the bulk of the list was personal care and baby care items!
I wish I could do better on the diapers and wipes, I realized today that Pampers just raised their prices! I used to pay somewhere in the amount of $14 something, and today they were up to $15.11!!! I may be switching brands. I need to shop around and see what I like.
I hope your shopping trips go as successful as mine did. It took a bit more planning, but if it saves us time and money, than I’m willing to give up those extra few minutes to make the list and ensure that I have coupons for the exact items that I want to buy.
If you were all wondering why I don't have other things on my list such as food items or baby formula. Well, as for the food, we aren't needing as much of it lately since Hubby is away at school and it is just me and my 5 year old. As for the formula we are on WIC, so THANKFULLY, that is one expense that we have not had to pay since Baby girl's birth! I highly recommend WIC. I know public assistance seems...ummmmm undesirable to many (as it was to me when this was first suggested) But, a really good friend of mine who has three children put it to me this way. "These programs are in place, if you qualify, take full advantage! Our men are fighting for this country, and you know darn well we don't get paid that much in return! We qualify, go take advantage and get the things you need!" So it was after that conversation that I started taking advantage of the programs provided. It is not just a military program, so for anyone who is pregnant or has a small child and knows that they will be on formula...do yourselves a favor and go and see if you qualify. The worst that can happen is that they'll say you make too much! But hey, It is absolutely worth that little bit of time to call up and go to an appointment!!!! The average cost of Formula now a days is approximately $15 to $30 depending on the can and size that you buy! My own little one goes through approximately 3 cans that are 12.9 oz a week! On average that would cost me over $60 a week, JUST FOR THE FORMULA!!!! Like I said, it's definately worth a try.
Friday, October 5, 2007
I've gotten myself way more involved this week than I think I ever would with Hubby around. I'm just trying to maintain my own peace of mind, and at the same time, trying so desperately to keep this house in order. A task I am so miserably failing! It'll get there, and That's the way I look at it. This is MY home, if it's messy, OH WELL! I have two kids, and I'm here on my own, trying to figure out my path, and also my schedules. I know full well, however, that if the house were neater, I wouldn't be so stressed. So that's one of my goals this weekend. To get this home in working order again. So I'm not so overwhelmed as I am now.
Being the way the house looks now, he probably wouldn't be too proud of me. But I think he would be extremely proud of me for stepping up and volunteering at the school. Especially since I'm getting experience in my field of study. I need to start developing a plan for some of these classes. Vocally these children are not being guided enough to develop the voices that they already have. Especially the 7th graders! That is the class that I am most involved in as of now. I'm hoping as time goes on, I at least kind of move into taking part in all of the middle school grades. The younger ones are easy! They love music and will sing to their hearts content! My daughter is living proof of this. But the older ones, well...they are starting to hit puberty and getting to that awkward age where they are so self conscious. This makes them crawl into themselves and not allow themselves to be open and free with artistic things, such as music, and drama...they feel like they are being judged 24/7.
So, once I have my house straightened, then I'm going to be looking for my college books. I need them to aid me in which direction to take these kids. I already have ideas. And I'm kinda of given free reign right now, which I am cautiously moving ahead on. I'm not the music teacher, so I don't want to hurt her feelings in any possible way. She just honestly needs help in developing the program more. And I truly believe, I'm the one to do it!
So a friend of mine is trying so desperately to set me up, and get me started. So if you see all the new changes to my page, well...that's due to my friend over at momnmore. Thanks, M!!!!
Little by little I will get this all set up, and then hopefully I'll be able to really get things moving and shaking!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Sunday morning I was invited out to breakfast with several members of our Church's choir. With this meeting came a pleasant discussion with Gabby's music teacher (who is in the choir). After talking for a while about a new art teacher to the school, she discovered that I was going to be helping out the Art teacher's class voluntarily. To that she replied, "Wow, everyone in the school has an aide, but me!" I looked at her oddly, I said, "well...You haven't asked me!" Now her and I have only talked in courteous terms before this point. Nothing too personal. However, I noticed the program last year was lacking a bit, and what experience it would be if I helped. I mean, after all, I graduated college with a vocal performance degree! Anything relating to that degree right now is a GODSEND!
Coming out of High School, I found it hard to figure out what career I should go into (Que the scene in "Office Space" where they talk about What would you do if you had a million dollars...) I went from career to career to career....I mean, seriously! I was into Culinary arts (I wanted to be a baker!) Music, Art, Dance, Theater, English...The list goes on! And out of everything, I finally chose music...it seemed to fit me the best. I loved to sing, I loved to be on the stage.
I went into the first college I attended as a Music education student. It was the first day of class when I realized how over my head I truly was. THE FIRST DAY!!! It was from then on that I realized that Music was a great thing, but it wasn't me...Singing was me...not music. Unfortunately, scholastically, they are two TOTALLY different things. I left that college after just one semester. I then attended a local community college, brought my grades back up, and met the best vocal teacher and friend in my life!
Since then I've bounced from college to college (all told I actually went to 4 different colleges...some of them more than once! don't ask!) I finally graduated in 2004 with a Vocal performance degree. I was So proud of myself that day. I had a 2 year old little girl, my hubby was going into the military, and I FINALLY did the one thing that everyone said that I couldn't do...I Finished College!
Here's the rub though...
I've NEVER done ANYTHING with this degree! NOTHING! I've sat here on my butt for the past three years not being able to start anything. I've popped from lame job to lame job, with no end in site and no value to any of them.
I have an opportunity. Even though my aiding these classes is on a voluntary basis and not paid, I'm still working in the field in which I was degreed. And MAN...it feels SO good. I really hope this continues. I hope I become more than what I am now. I hope I change some of these kids' perceptions of music (middle schoolers, OYE!)
But more importantly, I hope I find my true calling. Maybe it is teaching? I was told that today by Mrs. M. I was only there for 15 minutes helping her with her very first class, and when that class ended she turned to me and said "Why aren't you a teacher!?" I smirked..."Because all throughout high school that's what EVERY family member said I would be...I'm still revolting!"
Maybe I should stop? The question now is, can I honestly afford (both monetarily and physically/mentally) to go back to college? Can I be a student again to be born a new as a teacher?
Something to ponder.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Since today is the official start, of course I had to brave the weigh in! Eeeekkk! A shiver goes down my spine!
My current weight: 215lbs (wow...I've really put on since high school!)
My exercise for the day: A brisk one mile walk around the track
This actually made me feel good about myself. Of course the medical reason would be because exercise releases endorphines and helps ease stress and other minor mental incompacities. But the REAL reason I felt good! Hahah...this is funny. There were a group of MPs doing a PT test. There were at least 3 guys that I LAPPED!!! I was walking!!! They were running! hahahaha. I thought it was pretty funny!
I do want to give a hat tip to this one guy, WOW...he ran two miles in 10:34 min! an incredible pace.
Anyway, I'll be doing my updates every Monday. They'll be my weigh in days.
Wish me luck! I have until December 14th to loose weight. (that's the day hubby comes home from training!)