The changing tides

Well, my mood has been changing back and forth from totally uptight and tense like I was on Wednesday to calm and in a "I don't care" attitude. I think part of it is hormonal. For most women this would be the reason. However, I think some of it is stress related.

Hubby returned early from his training, and for a lack of a better explanation he gave up, why? Because of all of the "issues" at home. He doesn't think I can handle things on my own. I've definitely figured that out this week. I mean, I WOULD be handling all of this stress on my own right now would he not have given up on the training and come home...SOooooo, why Can't I handle it?

Sure I definitely have had my moments of breakdown, but that doesn't mean that as a whole, that I cannot handle myself and this family. I've found that in the past week I've been greatly criticised for how I do things, the way I handle myself...etc..... All the while he's sitting there telling me how tense I am...YEAH...NO SH*T Sherlock! I'm being told that everything I'm doing is wrong...I'm not supposed to get tensed up?

It went from subject to subject this morning. From when I actually woke up, to what we were feeding Gabby for breakfast, to how to handle the teacher at the parent teacher conference. Evidently I'm giving off the vibe that I'm going to head into the classroom with pitchfork in hand ready to kill the beast! I dunno, something about me not being able to handle people...::snicker::

Sure I'm mad, but I'm not so naive as to think that I can go in with guns blazing and bite her head off (even though I'd like to!) But on the other hand, I'm not about to take this first year teach by the hand and guide her along the path...that's not my job! That's what she went to college for!

My hubby's point of view on that subject greatly differs from mine. Being a former teacher himself he sees this as her inability to bring anything else to the table of learning. I know for a fact that there are GOBS of books out there on how to create a more creative learning environment. The Internet is Full of ideas AND other teachers' lesson plans! COME ON! She can do better than worksheets! But, maybe he's right? Maybe this one is a loosing battle. I don't know how much she truly cares for these kids, and how much she sees this job as more than just a paycheck. She hasn't truly convinced me of anything positive about her.

I can truly say that for the first week since the beginning of the year Gabby has seemed to have brought home new skills. She's learned graphing and how to figure out syllables. I will also say that I have Definitely found that she has mine and my hubby's stubbornness. Something IS what SHE says it IS, even if we prove to her it's WRONG! lol... As in Minnie Mouse has three syllables...no Gabby, Minnie has two, and mouse has one...No...there's three! No, Gabby, they are two different words, you don't add them together...This argument went on for about 5 minutes in the car. UGH...

Another battle to be won in the classroom is the fact that we just found out this morning that Gabby has a bully. In Kindergarten? NO WAY! Yep...I guess they are training 'em young these days! I want the child kept away from mine...Hubby wants the teacher to decide what to do. Now Hubby and I both endured really hard childhoods where other kids were concerned. I grew up with barely any friends, and those that were my friends were there as a matter of convenience when THEY needed me! Hubby wore glasses, was awkward looking and well...the prime target to be picked on. So we both have experience in this sort of thing. I think My experience being with the Caddy girls are more closely related to what Gabby is dealing with, and so I am more apt to be able to figure out the best ways to handle these things. Number one rule, Walk away...Number two...Make the teacher aware that there IS a problem, and separate them in class. The only thing keeping them next to each other all year is going to do is bring both of their attention levels down as the one constantly interrupts the others learning. Gabby had a time out on Tuesday due to this child's talking-according to Gabby...she wasn't doing anything. So Hubby is right to a point. We aren't in the classroom and need to find out from Teach what is going on...BUT...she doesn't really "see" any problems. I hear of time outs, but I personally have taught this class in music and have seen that it's not working. This is definitely not the class from last year. The one that actually LISTENED! Something is wrong here. And I'm not sure what the answer is.

So in a few hours I will be walking into enemy territory. I hate to think of it this way, but from my understanding of other parents' dealings with her, she's not to apt to change her ways, she's on the defensive. And I'm on the prowl! hahaha...A mother Eagle tending her brood! Muahaha...yeah...

I don't want to have tensions between this teacher and I all year round, but it's hard not to when you say something to her and she doesn't even nod in acknowledgement. She just stairs through you, like she didn't hear a thing.

Which ever way this day goes, hopefully we'll be able to get past it. Even hubby has seen that Gabby's eyes sink heading into the classroom. Last year she LOVED school and couldn't wait to go every morning. And she was so excited to start off this year. But now, the glamour is gone, and she's lost her luster. Sad really...What one individual teacher can steal away from a child. And I guess I'm not blameless in all this. I've had the nasty habit of talking about the teach and the school in front of Gabby...I've tried not to, but she somehow walks into my conversations.

God willing her school year can be revived and she can become a happy little girl again...not that she's all THAT unhappy, but a mother can tell!

Thanks to all the well wishers the past few days. I've really needed the extra little words of encouragement.