Education is a curious beast.

I am finding out more and more about myself as time lingers on. It's not very often that I do things for me. For example, I barely ever get to exercise or eat what I want to eat, watch what I want on TV...it's a mom thing...we get bowled over by all of the Have tos and Need tos of the day.

Sunday morning I was invited out to breakfast with several members of our Church's choir. With this meeting came a pleasant discussion with Gabby's music teacher (who is in the choir). After talking for a while about a new art teacher to the school, she discovered that I was going to be helping out the Art teacher's class voluntarily. To that she replied, "Wow, everyone in the school has an aide, but me!" I looked at her oddly, I said, "well...You haven't asked me!" Now her and I have only talked in courteous terms before this point. Nothing too personal. However, I noticed the program last year was lacking a bit, and what experience it would be if I helped. I mean, after all, I graduated college with a vocal performance degree! Anything relating to that degree right now is a GODSEND!

Coming out of High School, I found it hard to figure out what career I should go into (Que the scene in "Office Space" where they talk about What would you do if you had a million dollars...) I went from career to career to career....I mean, seriously! I was into Culinary arts (I wanted to be a baker!) Music, Art, Dance, Theater, English...The list goes on! And out of everything, I finally chose music...it seemed to fit me the best. I loved to sing, I loved to be on the stage.

I went into the first college I attended as a Music education student. It was the first day of class when I realized how over my head I truly was. THE FIRST DAY!!! It was from then on that I realized that Music was a great thing, but it wasn't me...Singing was me...not music. Unfortunately, scholastically, they are two TOTALLY different things. I left that college after just one semester. I then attended a local community college, brought my grades back up, and met the best vocal teacher and friend in my life!

Since then I've bounced from college to college (all told I actually went to 4 different colleges...some of them more than once! don't ask!) I finally graduated in 2004 with a Vocal performance degree. I was So proud of myself that day. I had a 2 year old little girl, my hubby was going into the military, and I FINALLY did the one thing that everyone said that I couldn't do...I Finished College!

Here's the rub though...

I've NEVER done ANYTHING with this degree! NOTHING! I've sat here on my butt for the past three years not being able to start anything. I've popped from lame job to lame job, with no end in site and no value to any of them.

But now...

I have an opportunity. Even though my aiding these classes is on a voluntary basis and not paid, I'm still working in the field in which I was degreed. And MAN...it feels SO good. I really hope this continues. I hope I become more than what I am now. I hope I change some of these kids' perceptions of music (middle schoolers, OYE!)

But more importantly, I hope I find my true calling. Maybe it is teaching? I was told that today by Mrs. M. I was only there for 15 minutes helping her with her very first class, and when that class ended she turned to me and said "Why aren't you a teacher!?" I smirked..."Because all throughout high school that's what EVERY family member said I would be...I'm still revolting!"

Maybe I should stop? The question now is, can I honestly afford (both monetarily and physically/mentally) to go back to college? Can I be a student again to be born a new as a teacher?

Something to ponder.